FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER (3)

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.


Another perspective...

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships.
Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...
Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or
appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you
see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a
relationship.


Next post will be “What keeps a relationship strong”.

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER (4)

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.


WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:

1. TRUST

2. COMMUNICATION

3. INTIMACY

4. A SENSE OF HUMOR

5. SHARING TASKS

6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN

7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,
etc.)

8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS

9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE

10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.

Wish you all a blessed day.
GBU,


There you go, friends…
You have it all.
Good luck.
^_^

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER (2)

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.


QUESTION...2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. a kind of trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION...3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION...4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc... How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION...5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.


Next post will be “another perspective”.

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER (1)

Hai, my friend sends me this nice article. I think this is good. So I want to share it to all my friends. I divide it into several post, I hope this will be easier to read. Enjoy….

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the NO.1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage.
When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; you need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION...1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.

50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

Next post will be the other questions.
Stay tune…

Know Thy Self

To know what we are…
This is a path that we all must cross.
This one drill that all of us must endure.
Because know your self inside-out will bring true success

This is the Key Question that will unlock your true well being.

(Answer this one by one and list as many as you can)

I am Happiest when I ________
I fell Excited when I ________
If I have all the money I need, I would do ______
The Best Advice I ever received was _________
The Best Thing I ever did was ________
Work is best when ___________
Life is best when ___________
My Hidden talents are _________
My Purpose in life is _____________
I have the most energy at work, when I ______
The skills I most like using at work are ____________
What people admire about me is _______
I am best at ______________________
The thing I need that can help me is _____________


After you finish answering these questions…
I say “Congratulation, You have made a great progress in your personal success”

Have a Great LIFE………
You deserved it!

^_^

Great Customer Service

To make a Great Customer Service is really about Managing Expectation.

If you can fill your customer expectation, this means you are okay…
But if you can Surpass their expectation, this is GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE.

Few Things that can make your business have great customer service:

Ask your customer what they want, how they want it and when.
Then give it to them.

Train your front-line (team member that face customer directly) to provide Excellent Service.
Give them responsibility and some authority to solve customer complains.
Give Reward to them, who can make customer happy again.

Do more than you ask for...
Give useful information, sincere service, a discount, or even a gift, when appropriate.


^_^

Even “Adult” can do Advertising

Hahaha…
This is really nothing got to do with adult stuff.
But every man (or woman) can advertise with these very simple tips.
So easy, that some times, I have to pad my self for its simplicity.

Tips:
Put your Ad in media that most of your customers READ.
Then…
Make an attractive (bold and big) head line which contain benefit that fills your customer need.
To make it more powerful…
You can give something, like discount or gift, if they act (means buy) NOW.
And please…
Make them easy to reach you, like put your telephone number, web and email address.

Now you know what it takes to make great advertising.

These tips are not a rocket science, but they surely work…
Money back Guarantee!
(Wait, you give NO money for these tips, so this means No-Money Back Guarantee).

Just kidding… ^_^
Have a great Life.

What failure means

Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure
It just means you haven’t succeeded yet
Failure doesn’t mean you have accomplished nothing
It does mean you have learnt something
Failure doesn’t mean you’ve been fool to try
It means you were brave, you have a nerve
You had courage, be proud of your self
Failure doesn’t mean you’ll never make it
It does mean it will take longer
Failure doesn’t mean you are finished
It does mean you have a chance to start it all over again,
Try something new
Failure doesn’t mean God has abandoned you
It does mean He has a better idea
So it’s true, failure is never final

-Dr. Robert Schuller-

How to build a business with 98% chance of success

We all heard bad things when you want to start a business.
It is said that 80% of new business close in first year. And from the 20% that survive, 80% of them will close in four years.
So in 5 years, there are only 4 % of these companies survived.

So how do we make our chances bigger than the average crowd?

A millionaire, that he had built hundred companies and close many of them, told a story.
He said, if he builds company alone without any experience, the chance of survival is only 15 to 20 %.
If he work with another millionaire that don’t have any knowledge or experience too, the chance of failure is greater than its success, even tough the business looks very profitable and promising.
If we work, he said, with a foreign company in new business, the chance is 50-50.
But if we work with an experience foreign company, the chances are 70 to 80%.
If we work with the world best company in their field, our chance of success become 95 to 98%.

Wow…

And the easiest way to work with this company is through franchising.

That why it is important to buy franchise that is the leader in their field. A business that already strives more than 5 years, and have lots success stories from their partner.

If you can not afford the best in the world, try to look from the best in America, or Australia, or Japan, or China, or in your own home town.


May you find your success, a great success…

Have a happy life. ^_^

How to become a Millionaire

You can sell something to some one with $ 1.000.000 in profit
or
You can sell something to 100 people with $ 10.000 in profit
or
You can sell something to 10.000 people with $ 100 in profit
or
You can sell many things to one million people with $ 1 in profit
or
You can sell many things to some one with $ 100.000 in profit, ten time
or
You can sell something to 100 people with $ 1000 in profit, ten times
or
You can sell something to 10.000 people with $ 10 in profit, ten times
or
You can sell something to one million people with $ 0.1 in profit, ten times
or
You can sell many things to 1000 people with $ 100 in profit, hundred times
or
You can sell something to 100.000 people with $ 0.1 in profit, hundred times

Marketing Research made simple

Every business needs to do marketing research.
A good research produces good-quality data.
Good-quality data means a better decision.
A better business decision will bring more CASH FLOW.

And…
You can do it with easy, simple (and cheaper) approach.

These are questions you must answer

Who is your customer?
What age, where they live, their marital status, what their occupation, level of income, how they make purchasing decision, what valuable to them, belief or life principle that connect to your business, do they have social group that have great influence in their life, are there any trendsetter or group leader (that can be used as a tipping point).

What do they need?
Why they need it, how they like to get it and when.

Who are your competitors?
What they good and bad at?

What is your Ultimate Advantage?
What makes you different from your competitors. And not just different, but really have a plus Value in fulfilling your customer need. This can be your niche to profit from the market.

What is your Industry trend?
What things (or policies) that can harm or benefit your business?


Ask this Question frequently. And you will feel the “pulse” in your business.

Like the old saying, “If you know you’re self and your enemy, go into 100 battles, and you will win 100 battles.” (Sun Tzu)


Hopefully this posting can help your business grow and make more money.
God bless you all… ^_^